Let You Go.

Just heard “If I Let You Go” by Westlife.

Time pass away,
And I can’t get you off my mind...
But if I let her go..
She will never know how much she means to me..
Will I ever see she smiles back to me?
Maybe..
But, I have let to her go..
Because I love her so much!!
I can’t let her be with me,
Because I don’t deserve to have her love.

We will work things out,
That was the old feeling saying,
As much as I missed you,
I know you don’t feel the same anymore,
No more ‘Comot’,
And no more ‘Comel’,

I have to learn to accept it..
The hard way!
I’ll leave her alone.
Hurt & pain as much as it feels,
It will remain as a deep scar,
I’ll rather live with it,

“If you hate someone so much,
God will give love to you for that person.
If you love someone too much,
God will bring hatred to you for that person.”

Teenage Dream

I think you’re pretty
Without any make-up on
I think you’re funny
When you tell the punch line wrong
I knew you get me
When you let your walls come down, down

Before you met me
I was a wreck
But things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's just talk all through the night
There’s no need to rush
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

When you around me
Life like a movie scene
I wasn’t happy
Until you became my Queen
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete
Let's just talk all through the night
There’s no need to rush
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

I will get your heart racing
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight

Let you rest your head on me
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight..tonight

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
I will get your heart racing
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight

Let you rest your head on me
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight..Tonight

To get over her or simply move on?

It has been more than a month now..
Not much thing to say..
All that I want is just...
Every time I wake up, she will always be beside me..
I want to see her everyday in my life..
She is the greatest thing ever happen in my life..

It was joyful till it last,
Happiness of love,
Cant never be the same..
Because, what she did was painful & I can't bear to fight it.
I forgive her & do not hate her..
Dislike her is growing inside me..
As anger & loneliness stay inside here.

She and I loved each other..
And then she broke my heart..
I’m doing everything possible not to face that fact..
But...
There is no use to deny the past..
She is a part of me..
She will always be..
It just hurt so much.

everything happen for a reason

a lot of things happen..
been too busy with study..
till it almost ruin the tie..
try to recover the love..
step by step..
or slow to bring the feeling back..
just go along..
cant wait for midbreak..
plan to meet & express..
sharing is not our best roles..
but we still holding on..
when the bad air got to us..
we become dull..

something went wrong tonight..
we did try to figure it out..
but we are just fooling ourselves..
its going no where..
decision have to be make..
no more tie between us..
crying is one thing..
walk away is tough..
suffocate..
can't breath properly..
can't imagine without you..
this need to stop..
decision...
you didn't hurt me..
i love you too much..
only faith & destiny can bring us back..
it all ends at 1.10am, 3 SEP 2010.

Fun cant be with Sad

I had fun & cries this long 3 weeks.. went to Berjaya Hills for some shooting, youth fest'10 that was like a PC Fair & Relay 4 Life in the mud, played Left 4 Dead(havent play any computer games for awhile!)!! I have a lot to share but I just dont have time to type it out. I want to express my feeling but I couldnt.

This past 3 weeks, there was also it bad moment. My relationships are up & down..Im totally not being myself..im such a lame, stupid & unreliable when she needs me. She wasnt happy with me & it make me realize that I had bring sadness to her life.

Maybe I wasnt fulfilling the expectation or the "used to be" like before. Things change, I change. I dont call at night for hours like always. I dont know where it went wrong but I do know the problems start with me.

I think I have been selfish & didnt give the proper care that she need. All I want is her to be happy. I dont care if she hurt my feeling, I willing to trade my feeling to make her feelings fine. Love hurts but you have to endure it as much as you can because love is not something that can be tied to a relationship, its something that lives in our heart.

Finals is over & things didnt go well as planned?! (9-15 May 2010)

The final paper fr my fourth semester was broadcasting & it was quite easy as i've prepared & done past year..but i'm a lil disappointed with my modern issue's paper..I did read my notes but it didnt appear in my head as it should be..i've lose my pace in memorizing. Well, gotta to let it go as I'll be seeing mr Shawn fr next semester in research class!! -.-"

I did said goodbye to friends before heading back to college. I walked back with Sob that evening so we could feel the last time of walking at 'tasik' as next semester we will live outside far away from UiTM(exaggerate much?!?). Well, the rent house is just 15 min away from UiTM. I'll be living with Taki, Sob, Yan, Jimy, Sufi & new & unexpected housemate..Raz!huhu. We got ourselves a corner-lot house, fully furnished & air conditioner in master bedroom for only rm600..so around rm80 per pax.

I packed all my stuff as quickly as my aunt & uncle from Masjid Tanah picked me up & leave my stuff there. But luck wasnt on my side as we arrived, the bus was on the move. So I stay over at aunt's house that night. Since it was Sunday, there was 'pasar malam' & I favor a dish called 'lompat tikam'. So I went around the 'pasar' but it was sold out! Could my day get any worse?!

The next day,my bus leave at 10am..I had 'roti canai' before going back to KL or to be precise, Bukit Jalil. I didnt have my headphone with me to listen to any music along the way as I left it in Taki's car but he did leave to Sob. Arrived there safely & wasnt crowded to get in the Star LRT train. I had to wait for my dad at the LRT station to get into MINDEF..if I walk, i'll be soaking wet with my sweat! My lil bro was happy when I arrived home..that means he has something to offer or favor!? Well, I felt asleep as I didnt get enough sleep from the last examination day.

Tuesday, I woke up at 11.45am & went straight to shower as I want get a ride to LRT with Cece. Well, my dad sent his subordinate to fetch Cece & she leaves at 12pm, so I wore what I got as I left my stuff back at Malacca. I planned for job hunt as I seriously need cash to pay my debt with friends & save some for audio & video assignment next semester. I targeted TGV at Wangsa Walk as it just open for a couple of week. So I want to try my luck there. I bumped into my senior from UiTM S.Alam & coincidentally the 2 of them are also applying there & they make a resume for the application form. That makes me eager to get the job more than ever! I went back into MINDEF by walking from the gates to my block took me 15-20 min! I had to take cover at the playground as that evening rain poured heavily.

I made my resume last night & print it out at Wangsa Setia. Before that, I went to school to ask a copy of my SPM slip as I kept in a box that still in the store!! Hell NO im going to search for it in the store..I dont even remember which box contains my slip SPM!?! After submitted the form, I went searching for other jobs in Wangsa Walk as Im not really sure that I can get a job there. On my way back to LRT Wangsa Maju, I met up with my juniors in the bus. They offered me to work at McD at JJ as I told them im searching for job. I didnt hesitate or think twice, I just filled in the form & get back home as I afraid it will rain again & it did!Pidot, my "good"(he is very religious & kind) ex-class monitor come to KL from Penang to meet up with us. So I texted all my Zuhalianz(form 4 & 5 ex-classmates)to meet up at Wangsa Walk Mall & do something.

I had to sent comforter & dirty clothes to laundry store before 2pm. There was Pidot, Hanif, Sabri, Cwan, Musab, Sarah, Hanisah, Fakhrul & Saffuan joined to play bowling. I played well at the 1st game but turned worse at 2nd game as my fingers was already "worn out".huhu. After that, we had some drink at NZ and with some of the people left such as Pidot, Sarah, Hanif, Sabri, Fakhrul & Cwan, we had karaoke at Wangsa Walk. We had fun although we split up before magrib. My uncle & cousin, Isaac from Sarawak came as my cousin got into a private college at Cheras. Congrats for him. I got a text message from Mera that night & she said that Zul house got robbed & my mind was getting this horrible images of 'bad things' that happen to them but luckily they were OK, nothing happened as Zul's house was trashed. Thank God, they were fine. I was afraid bad things happen to my precious friends! They are my second family in my life!

Friday, was so boring!! Supposely, Zul, Rauf & me go to Malacca to take my stuff but since things happened yesterday, better cool down first. I drove Cece to LRT station in the morning, sent lil bro to his friend's house in the afternoon and I lay on my bed the whole day after solat Jumaat. With nothing to do, I slept, online & watched anime. Uncle & Isaac went to KL.

The next day, it was boring too! I just waiting for dinner with my friends & my girl at Rahsia but it was canceled. I was clueless and doing the same thing like yesterday. -.-" What a life?!huhu?!

updates summary of 23rd jan-11th apr!

damn! its been too long that i hvnt update anytin that i did! since frm my bday till now..packed up!well, busy too much! A lot of events involved, assignments gotta fin up, relationship problems, missed my friends, less sleepin-more typin+thinkin!spent money on assgnmts than eatin!

all of that taught me that..next sem will be tougher, event will be bigger, assignments & lects will be crazier! plus gotta stay outside next sem! gotta prepare money fr next sem AV assgnments!!

the good thing, lects notice me capable of being a stage manager & sobree's personal assistant.huhu. my paperwork are getting better & i think i can handle assgnments well & on the pre-stage of degree format but not sure with my English though..i need to read english book!

plus, people i worked with is always keep on changing..gotta be flexible then..cant complained. drama?naah! never been one! so, dont bring probs to ohers!

in the beginning of this sem, i cried as a lot of things change & i thought that i can handle it but no! I need support & friends! i got over it through time & thinking.

got close with others just to sooth my loneliness but it shouldnt be that way, so i open a lil bit of my heart & be friends. it wasnt hard, but cautious is important to my feelin.

btw,my relationship was at stake & it was a test fr myself!i try my best to make it happen..who said LDR gonna be easy?luckily im in Lendu, not at some othr foreign country. but we are fine now. hee.hmm,before 1 event,Im glad to meet my best friend that i miss so much! although it wasnt long & we didnt hv time to catch up but at least im happy too!

assignmts are done but exam are near..so i gotta work hard fr DL this sem..dont want the same result!! need DL!!!huhu

cant write much but just wait fr sem break..huhu.xp