One more week until semester break over. Sigh. It's going to be over soon. I wish I could stay in bed or have a getaway some where not in Msia..but i cant!hey, I can dream it while i am asleep right?! I did have fun with my friends with playing at the waterfall, get together at mamak sometimes, played pool & snook, got punctured tyre at BB, holiday at Kuching, Sarawak. More to come actually, I just follow my friends plans to fill my days.
Well, not everyday are fun.. I had my bad days.. I'm just tired of getting myself hurt. I prefer to be alone sometimes, although I have developed 'hatred' towards her but I know I shouldn't have that feeling, it's not her fault. I keep telling myself not to blame others of my own mistakes. Negative aura surrounds me everyday, so I try to be optimistic around family, friends & people.
When i'm alone, I look at our picture in the frame that you gave. When i'm outside, everytime i took out my wallet.. i accidentally look at our picture. I hated that we couldnt see each other. I would get jealous & pissed at you that you would always have plans with your friends. But you're the one who leave me. This wound will remain forever. Yes, I should "Move on"! "Dont be naive"! "Love Yourself"! "Jangan manja2" what else? You might be happier, god knows.
My greatest fear is losing you and it happened.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
It's Not Over (in Denial)
By Secondhand Serenade.
My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you ' or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do
But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over
I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die
But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever
I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever
It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over
My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you ' or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do
But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over
I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die
But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever
I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever
It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Let You Go.
Just heard “If I Let You Go” by Westlife.
Time pass away,
And I can’t get you off my mind...
But if I let her go..
She will never know how much she means to me..
Will I ever see she smiles back to me?
Maybe..
But, I have let to her go..
Because I love her so much!!
I can’t let her be with me,
Because I don’t deserve to have her love.
We will work things out,
That was the old feeling saying,
As much as I missed you,
I know you don’t feel the same anymore,
No more ‘Comot’,
And no more ‘Comel’,
I have to learn to accept it..
The hard way!
I’ll leave her alone.
Hurt & pain as much as it feels,
It will remain as a deep scar,
I’ll rather live with it,
“If you hate someone so much,
God will give love to you for that person.
If you love someone too much,
God will bring hatred to you for that person.”
Time pass away,
And I can’t get you off my mind...
But if I let her go..
She will never know how much she means to me..
Will I ever see she smiles back to me?
Maybe..
But, I have let to her go..
Because I love her so much!!
I can’t let her be with me,
Because I don’t deserve to have her love.
We will work things out,
That was the old feeling saying,
As much as I missed you,
I know you don’t feel the same anymore,
No more ‘Comot’,
And no more ‘Comel’,
I have to learn to accept it..
The hard way!
I’ll leave her alone.
Hurt & pain as much as it feels,
It will remain as a deep scar,
I’ll rather live with it,
“If you hate someone so much,
God will give love to you for that person.
If you love someone too much,
God will bring hatred to you for that person.”
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Teenage Dream
I think you’re pretty
Without any make-up on
I think you’re funny
When you tell the punch line wrong
I knew you get me
When you let your walls come down, down
Before you met me
I was a wreck
But things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my valentine, valentine
Let's just talk all through the night
There’s no need to rush
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever
You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
When you around me
Life like a movie scene
I wasn’t happy
Until you became my Queen
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete
Let's just talk all through the night
There’s no need to rush
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever
You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
I will get your heart racing
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight
Let you rest your head on me
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight..tonight
You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
I will get your heart racing
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight
Let you rest your head on me
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight..Tonight
Without any make-up on
I think you’re funny
When you tell the punch line wrong
I knew you get me
When you let your walls come down, down
Before you met me
I was a wreck
But things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my valentine, valentine
Let's just talk all through the night
There’s no need to rush
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever
You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
When you around me
Life like a movie scene
I wasn’t happy
Until you became my Queen
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete
Let's just talk all through the night
There’s no need to rush
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever
You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
I will get your heart racing
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight
Let you rest your head on me
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight..tonight
You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
I will get your heart racing
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight
Let you rest your head on me
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight..Tonight
Saturday, October 9, 2010
To get over her or simply move on?
It has been more than a month now..
Not much thing to say..
All that I want is just...
Every time I wake up, she will always be beside me..
I want to see her everyday in my life..
She is the greatest thing ever happen in my life..
It was joyful till it last,
Happiness of love,
Cant never be the same..
Because, what she did was painful & I can't bear to fight it.
I forgive her & do not hate her..
Dislike her is growing inside me..
As anger & loneliness stay inside here.
She and I loved each other..
And then she broke my heart..
I’m doing everything possible not to face that fact..
But...
There is no use to deny the past..
She is a part of me..
She will always be..
It just hurt so much.
Not much thing to say..
All that I want is just...
Every time I wake up, she will always be beside me..
I want to see her everyday in my life..
She is the greatest thing ever happen in my life..
It was joyful till it last,
Happiness of love,
Cant never be the same..
Because, what she did was painful & I can't bear to fight it.
I forgive her & do not hate her..
Dislike her is growing inside me..
As anger & loneliness stay inside here.
She and I loved each other..
And then she broke my heart..
I’m doing everything possible not to face that fact..
But...
There is no use to deny the past..
She is a part of me..
She will always be..
It just hurt so much.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
everything happen for a reason
a lot of things happen..
been too busy with study..
till it almost ruin the tie..
try to recover the love..
step by step..
or slow to bring the feeling back..
just go along..
cant wait for midbreak..
plan to meet & express..
sharing is not our best roles..
but we still holding on..
when the bad air got to us..
we become dull..
something went wrong tonight..
we did try to figure it out..
but we are just fooling ourselves..
its going no where..
decision have to be make..
no more tie between us..
crying is one thing..
walk away is tough..
suffocate..
can't breath properly..
can't imagine without you..
this need to stop..
decision...
you didn't hurt me..
i love you too much..
only faith & destiny can bring us back..
it all ends at 1.10am, 3 SEP 2010.
been too busy with study..
till it almost ruin the tie..
try to recover the love..
step by step..
or slow to bring the feeling back..
just go along..
cant wait for midbreak..
plan to meet & express..
sharing is not our best roles..
but we still holding on..
when the bad air got to us..
we become dull..
something went wrong tonight..
we did try to figure it out..
but we are just fooling ourselves..
its going no where..
decision have to be make..
no more tie between us..
crying is one thing..
walk away is tough..
suffocate..
can't breath properly..
can't imagine without you..
this need to stop..
decision...
you didn't hurt me..
i love you too much..
only faith & destiny can bring us back..
it all ends at 1.10am, 3 SEP 2010.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Fun cant be with Sad
I had fun & cries this long 3 weeks.. went to Berjaya Hills for some shooting, youth fest'10 that was like a PC Fair & Relay 4 Life in the mud, played Left 4 Dead(havent play any computer games for awhile!)!! I have a lot to share but I just dont have time to type it out. I want to express my feeling but I couldnt.
This past 3 weeks, there was also it bad moment. My relationships are up & down..Im totally not being myself..im such a lame, stupid & unreliable when she needs me. She wasnt happy with me & it make me realize that I had bring sadness to her life.
Maybe I wasnt fulfilling the expectation or the "used to be" like before. Things change, I change. I dont call at night for hours like always. I dont know where it went wrong but I do know the problems start with me.
I think I have been selfish & didnt give the proper care that she need. All I want is her to be happy. I dont care if she hurt my feeling, I willing to trade my feeling to make her feelings fine. Love hurts but you have to endure it as much as you can because love is not something that can be tied to a relationship, its something that lives in our heart.
This past 3 weeks, there was also it bad moment. My relationships are up & down..Im totally not being myself..im such a lame, stupid & unreliable when she needs me. She wasnt happy with me & it make me realize that I had bring sadness to her life.
Maybe I wasnt fulfilling the expectation or the "used to be" like before. Things change, I change. I dont call at night for hours like always. I dont know where it went wrong but I do know the problems start with me.
I think I have been selfish & didnt give the proper care that she need. All I want is her to be happy. I dont care if she hurt my feeling, I willing to trade my feeling to make her feelings fine. Love hurts but you have to endure it as much as you can because love is not something that can be tied to a relationship, its something that lives in our heart.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
