Miserable can change.

I feel so powerless in the afternoon. I didn’t eat but I did mop the house and the laundry. I feel asleep in the evening and I got up as my lil bro prepare some meal. He cooked wantan and chicken ball. I had a lil fight with my mom. I was so frustrated that she keeps asking me the same question, “Have you closed the pipe?” and I answer it twice! I slammed the door and she was babbling about sin. I soon realised my fault and apologize to her during dinner at Georgetown White Coffee as we can’t make it to A&W. I was emotional all the sudden. It is maybe because I kept my darn feeling inside long enough..loneliness, frustrated & miserable time to time..probs with family, friends, relationship, money, academic, decision, mental & emotion. All of this is just phases that I’m going through right now to adulthood.

I went to Melayu to meet up with Yus & Din. We just sort of doing nothing useful as we are talking nonsense and make a laugh of our own jokes and sarcasm. Before that, I went to shake hand with Meor as he my senior drama family. He asked, “Where is your lil bro?”. It was strange and he said that my lil bro will beat my old reputation during my high school years. I think about it but why would I care? “Abe..abe laa. My lil bro is he self.” Although he look up to me but I don’t want he to be over shadowed by my previous success and try to reach others expectation like I did in order to fill my satisfaction and others. I want him to be other than me. Being me sometimes can be weird and not everyone can understand although you know me quite some time. Things change since I’m in university, I have to reach my own expectation to go to the next level. Even though I haven’t reached my goal, it soon will be. Just be optimistic and yourself. (16 dec)