Pagi tadi ku wat tampal gigi ku yg berlubang dkt clinic & dentist ngn adik ku. Ble turn ku da setel tampal gigi, adik ku belom dipanggil lg. So ku lepak duk luar klinik, duk dlm sejuk & mgantok! Tetibe de sorg mak cik menangis & meraung dpn klinik! Ku ingt someting happen, rupa2nya makcik tue mengamok ngn ank pompuan dier coz kantoi ank dier merokok dkt sblh klinik.
Kesian ku tgk makcik tue. Menghancurkan perasaan & kepercayaan mak dier. Bengang gak ku tgk pompuan tue tp ku taw dier msti rasa bersalah. Think logically laa, ko kluar ngn mak ko, sempat lagi nk hisap se-pam dua?! Nasib baik ada nurse tolong tenangkan makcik tue & bawak duk kt bangku dpn klinik. De pakcik guard lak tegur dak pompuan tue elok2. "Hang nie dak baik, pakcik taw tp hang ni buat benda xpikir pjg. Xpikir psl org lain ngn sekeliling hang! Kalo bukan pakcik mai kt hang, pasti ada org lain yg tegor hang. Hang da la pkai tudong, jaga ckit perlakuan hang! kita Melayu, kita orang Islam taw dok?!".
Dalam hati ku, "Melayu? Islam?? Does it mean something to us Malay Muslim? I mean, kte sering dengar, merokok haram, merokok memudaratkan kesihatan;berdosa, & macam2 lg. Well, its up to the individuals." Then ku pn pkir lagi, "IF I was a smoker & one day kantoi with parents..I can predict how my life will be. My dad dont trust me, my mom disappointed with me, what else? Thats bad enough fr me! Makcik tue duk dpn ku je & later dier siap call kawan2 budak perempuan tue, tanya spe influence ank dier! Dak pompuan tue da hilang ntah ke mne. Kawan2 dak pompuan tue pn xtaw & terkejot yg dier hisap rokok. Maybe some of them taw, tp wat2 terkejot dlm phone. But for those yg xtaw, surprise!!
Well, she deserve it! How long do you think you can lie to your mom or others. Smoking in the public dgn pkai tudung lak tue. Cover la ckit! Memang takde rasa malu ke hisap rokok in public & pkai tudung?? Lepas ni dgr berita "Wanita Bertudung Hisap Rokok mencemarkan agama Islam"?? Mesti panas kan? Then rasa xpuas hati. Tapi betol kan? I bet, one day if this kind of tudung girls smoking in the public, ntah laki mne dtg kt ko & lempang ko then lecture ko! Baru time tue nk sedar kot.
Tak kisah la kalo korang nk hisap rokok pn, bukan ku halang pn. Sape je ku? Just sbg peringatan, yg pkai tudung, COVER CEMERLANG la merokok!Pandai2 hidup la. But, do believe in Karma!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
In the End.
Whats the differences between friends & ex that turn to friend?
When You texting to;
Friends: Reply ASAP or treat like usual.
Ex: Reply later, he will understand or text short n' unusual treat(a lil bit mean).
I have been texting with You for awhile. I can see the difference. I'm not blind!
When You planning something with;
Friends: A lot of ideas & excited with it.The plan comes true.
Ex: You act like You are into it but when that day come, no mood & unexcited with it.
I know its too good to be true.
When You say this & that;
Friends: You'll definitely keep your promise.
Ex: the promise that You gave wasn't matter anymore, You dont owe him anything.
Yeah, I dont blame You but stop give empty promises, You said "Dont make promises if you cannot keep it".
I think that advice was for You.
"We will work things out."
You know what you're doing to me yet You play all the way.
YOU were right!
I am naive.
I'm now done.
I'll shut myself from You.
It's for the best.
Rather than letting You giving hopes or promises that sound real but its NOT & it hurts.
You're friendship was rather sympathy than welcoming.
You...
Don't lie to your loved ones,
they will just get hurt.
You might regret & will be fine of loosing one of them,
but what ever that You had in life, treasure it.
Deny all You want, but I can see it clearly.
Even if You say "Dont act like you know me".
You have never been straight forward with me.
You should!
But You leave things unsettle.
And yet we are over.
All your deep thinking, all your regrets.
You were thinking of yourself,
Chasing dreams.
You just want to make yourself better than before.
You should clear it up with me rather than keeping to yourself.
Even we were together back then, You still keep it.
I realize that I wasn't important enough till You even broke this heart.
You want me to move on?
It's easy for You, as You did it.
But I'll soon learn from it.
Step by step. Day by day.
I'll heal myself, but this wound will last forever.
We will meet another time,
soon or after,
as a friend or never.
I'm very thankful with everything that I had
And accept whatever that fall on me.
When You texting to;
Friends: Reply ASAP or treat like usual.
Ex: Reply later, he will understand or text short n' unusual treat(a lil bit mean).
I have been texting with You for awhile. I can see the difference. I'm not blind!
When You planning something with;
Friends: A lot of ideas & excited with it.The plan comes true.
Ex: You act like You are into it but when that day come, no mood & unexcited with it.
I know its too good to be true.
When You say this & that;
Friends: You'll definitely keep your promise.
Ex: the promise that You gave wasn't matter anymore, You dont owe him anything.
Yeah, I dont blame You but stop give empty promises, You said "Dont make promises if you cannot keep it".
I think that advice was for You.
"We will work things out."
You know what you're doing to me yet You play all the way.
YOU were right!
I am naive.
I'm now done.
I'll shut myself from You.
It's for the best.
Rather than letting You giving hopes or promises that sound real but its NOT & it hurts.
You're friendship was rather sympathy than welcoming.
You...
Don't lie to your loved ones,
they will just get hurt.
You might regret & will be fine of loosing one of them,
but what ever that You had in life, treasure it.
Deny all You want, but I can see it clearly.
Even if You say "Dont act like you know me".
You have never been straight forward with me.
You should!
But You leave things unsettle.
And yet we are over.
All your deep thinking, all your regrets.
You were thinking of yourself,
Chasing dreams.
You just want to make yourself better than before.
You should clear it up with me rather than keeping to yourself.
Even we were together back then, You still keep it.
I realize that I wasn't important enough till You even broke this heart.
You want me to move on?
It's easy for You, as You did it.
But I'll soon learn from it.
Step by step. Day by day.
I'll heal myself, but this wound will last forever.
We will meet another time,
soon or after,
as a friend or never.
I'm very thankful with everything that I had
And accept whatever that fall on me.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Open my eyes..hurts.
One more week until semester break over. Sigh. It's going to be over soon. I wish I could stay in bed or have a getaway some where not in Msia..but i cant!hey, I can dream it while i am asleep right?! I did have fun with my friends with playing at the waterfall, get together at mamak sometimes, played pool & snook, got punctured tyre at BB, holiday at Kuching, Sarawak. More to come actually, I just follow my friends plans to fill my days.
Well, not everyday are fun.. I had my bad days.. I'm just tired of getting myself hurt. I prefer to be alone sometimes, although I have developed 'hatred' towards her but I know I shouldn't have that feeling, it's not her fault. I keep telling myself not to blame others of my own mistakes. Negative aura surrounds me everyday, so I try to be optimistic around family, friends & people.
When i'm alone, I look at our picture in the frame that you gave. When i'm outside, everytime i took out my wallet.. i accidentally look at our picture. I hated that we couldnt see each other. I would get jealous & pissed at you that you would always have plans with your friends. But you're the one who leave me. This wound will remain forever. Yes, I should "Move on"! "Dont be naive"! "Love Yourself"! "Jangan manja2" what else? You might be happier, god knows.
My greatest fear is losing you and it happened.
Well, not everyday are fun.. I had my bad days.. I'm just tired of getting myself hurt. I prefer to be alone sometimes, although I have developed 'hatred' towards her but I know I shouldn't have that feeling, it's not her fault. I keep telling myself not to blame others of my own mistakes. Negative aura surrounds me everyday, so I try to be optimistic around family, friends & people.
When i'm alone, I look at our picture in the frame that you gave. When i'm outside, everytime i took out my wallet.. i accidentally look at our picture. I hated that we couldnt see each other. I would get jealous & pissed at you that you would always have plans with your friends. But you're the one who leave me. This wound will remain forever. Yes, I should "Move on"! "Dont be naive"! "Love Yourself"! "Jangan manja2" what else? You might be happier, god knows.
My greatest fear is losing you and it happened.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
It's Not Over (in Denial)
By Secondhand Serenade.
My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you ' or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do
But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over
I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die
But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever
I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever
It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over
My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you ' or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do
But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over
I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die
But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever
I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever
It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Let You Go.
Just heard “If I Let You Go” by Westlife.
Time pass away,
And I can’t get you off my mind...
But if I let her go..
She will never know how much she means to me..
Will I ever see she smiles back to me?
Maybe..
But, I have let to her go..
Because I love her so much!!
I can’t let her be with me,
Because I don’t deserve to have her love.
We will work things out,
That was the old feeling saying,
As much as I missed you,
I know you don’t feel the same anymore,
No more ‘Comot’,
And no more ‘Comel’,
I have to learn to accept it..
The hard way!
I’ll leave her alone.
Hurt & pain as much as it feels,
It will remain as a deep scar,
I’ll rather live with it,
“If you hate someone so much,
God will give love to you for that person.
If you love someone too much,
God will bring hatred to you for that person.”
Time pass away,
And I can’t get you off my mind...
But if I let her go..
She will never know how much she means to me..
Will I ever see she smiles back to me?
Maybe..
But, I have let to her go..
Because I love her so much!!
I can’t let her be with me,
Because I don’t deserve to have her love.
We will work things out,
That was the old feeling saying,
As much as I missed you,
I know you don’t feel the same anymore,
No more ‘Comot’,
And no more ‘Comel’,
I have to learn to accept it..
The hard way!
I’ll leave her alone.
Hurt & pain as much as it feels,
It will remain as a deep scar,
I’ll rather live with it,
“If you hate someone so much,
God will give love to you for that person.
If you love someone too much,
God will bring hatred to you for that person.”
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Teenage Dream
I think you’re pretty
Without any make-up on
I think you’re funny
When you tell the punch line wrong
I knew you get me
When you let your walls come down, down
Before you met me
I was a wreck
But things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my valentine, valentine
Let's just talk all through the night
There’s no need to rush
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever
You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
When you around me
Life like a movie scene
I wasn’t happy
Until you became my Queen
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete
Let's just talk all through the night
There’s no need to rush
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever
You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
I will get your heart racing
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight
Let you rest your head on me
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight..tonight
You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
I will get your heart racing
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight
Let you rest your head on me
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight..Tonight
Without any make-up on
I think you’re funny
When you tell the punch line wrong
I knew you get me
When you let your walls come down, down
Before you met me
I was a wreck
But things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my valentine, valentine
Let's just talk all through the night
There’s no need to rush
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever
You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
When you around me
Life like a movie scene
I wasn’t happy
Until you became my Queen
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete
Let's just talk all through the night
There’s no need to rush
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever
You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
I will get your heart racing
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight
Let you rest your head on me
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight..tonight
You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
I will get your heart racing
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight
Let you rest your head on me
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight..Tonight
Saturday, October 9, 2010
To get over her or simply move on?
It has been more than a month now..
Not much thing to say..
All that I want is just...
Every time I wake up, she will always be beside me..
I want to see her everyday in my life..
She is the greatest thing ever happen in my life..
It was joyful till it last,
Happiness of love,
Cant never be the same..
Because, what she did was painful & I can't bear to fight it.
I forgive her & do not hate her..
Dislike her is growing inside me..
As anger & loneliness stay inside here.
She and I loved each other..
And then she broke my heart..
I’m doing everything possible not to face that fact..
But...
There is no use to deny the past..
She is a part of me..
She will always be..
It just hurt so much.
Not much thing to say..
All that I want is just...
Every time I wake up, she will always be beside me..
I want to see her everyday in my life..
She is the greatest thing ever happen in my life..
It was joyful till it last,
Happiness of love,
Cant never be the same..
Because, what she did was painful & I can't bear to fight it.
I forgive her & do not hate her..
Dislike her is growing inside me..
As anger & loneliness stay inside here.
She and I loved each other..
And then she broke my heart..
I’m doing everything possible not to face that fact..
But...
There is no use to deny the past..
She is a part of me..
She will always be..
It just hurt so much.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
everything happen for a reason
a lot of things happen..
been too busy with study..
till it almost ruin the tie..
try to recover the love..
step by step..
or slow to bring the feeling back..
just go along..
cant wait for midbreak..
plan to meet & express..
sharing is not our best roles..
but we still holding on..
when the bad air got to us..
we become dull..
something went wrong tonight..
we did try to figure it out..
but we are just fooling ourselves..
its going no where..
decision have to be make..
no more tie between us..
crying is one thing..
walk away is tough..
suffocate..
can't breath properly..
can't imagine without you..
this need to stop..
decision...
you didn't hurt me..
i love you too much..
only faith & destiny can bring us back..
it all ends at 1.10am, 3 SEP 2010.
been too busy with study..
till it almost ruin the tie..
try to recover the love..
step by step..
or slow to bring the feeling back..
just go along..
cant wait for midbreak..
plan to meet & express..
sharing is not our best roles..
but we still holding on..
when the bad air got to us..
we become dull..
something went wrong tonight..
we did try to figure it out..
but we are just fooling ourselves..
its going no where..
decision have to be make..
no more tie between us..
crying is one thing..
walk away is tough..
suffocate..
can't breath properly..
can't imagine without you..
this need to stop..
decision...
you didn't hurt me..
i love you too much..
only faith & destiny can bring us back..
it all ends at 1.10am, 3 SEP 2010.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Fun cant be with Sad
I had fun & cries this long 3 weeks.. went to Berjaya Hills for some shooting, youth fest'10 that was like a PC Fair & Relay 4 Life in the mud, played Left 4 Dead(havent play any computer games for awhile!)!! I have a lot to share but I just dont have time to type it out. I want to express my feeling but I couldnt.
This past 3 weeks, there was also it bad moment. My relationships are up & down..Im totally not being myself..im such a lame, stupid & unreliable when she needs me. She wasnt happy with me & it make me realize that I had bring sadness to her life.
Maybe I wasnt fulfilling the expectation or the "used to be" like before. Things change, I change. I dont call at night for hours like always. I dont know where it went wrong but I do know the problems start with me.
I think I have been selfish & didnt give the proper care that she need. All I want is her to be happy. I dont care if she hurt my feeling, I willing to trade my feeling to make her feelings fine. Love hurts but you have to endure it as much as you can because love is not something that can be tied to a relationship, its something that lives in our heart.
This past 3 weeks, there was also it bad moment. My relationships are up & down..Im totally not being myself..im such a lame, stupid & unreliable when she needs me. She wasnt happy with me & it make me realize that I had bring sadness to her life.
Maybe I wasnt fulfilling the expectation or the "used to be" like before. Things change, I change. I dont call at night for hours like always. I dont know where it went wrong but I do know the problems start with me.
I think I have been selfish & didnt give the proper care that she need. All I want is her to be happy. I dont care if she hurt my feeling, I willing to trade my feeling to make her feelings fine. Love hurts but you have to endure it as much as you can because love is not something that can be tied to a relationship, its something that lives in our heart.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Finals is over & things didnt go well as planned?! (9-15 May 2010)
The final paper fr my fourth semester was broadcasting & it was quite easy as i've prepared & done past year..but i'm a lil disappointed with my modern issue's paper..I did read my notes but it didnt appear in my head as it should be..i've lose my pace in memorizing. Well, gotta to let it go as I'll be seeing mr Shawn fr next semester in research class!! -.-"
I did said goodbye to friends before heading back to college. I walked back with Sob that evening so we could feel the last time of walking at 'tasik' as next semester we will live outside far away from UiTM(exaggerate much?!?). Well, the rent house is just 15 min away from UiTM. I'll be living with Taki, Sob, Yan, Jimy, Sufi & new & unexpected housemate..Raz!huhu. We got ourselves a corner-lot house, fully furnished & air conditioner in master bedroom for only rm600..so around rm80 per pax.
I packed all my stuff as quickly as my aunt & uncle from Masjid Tanah picked me up & leave my stuff there. But luck wasnt on my side as we arrived, the bus was on the move. So I stay over at aunt's house that night. Since it was Sunday, there was 'pasar malam' & I favor a dish called 'lompat tikam'. So I went around the 'pasar' but it was sold out! Could my day get any worse?!
The next day,my bus leave at 10am..I had 'roti canai' before going back to KL or to be precise, Bukit Jalil. I didnt have my headphone with me to listen to any music along the way as I left it in Taki's car but he did leave to Sob. Arrived there safely & wasnt crowded to get in the Star LRT train. I had to wait for my dad at the LRT station to get into MINDEF..if I walk, i'll be soaking wet with my sweat! My lil bro was happy when I arrived home..that means he has something to offer or favor!? Well, I felt asleep as I didnt get enough sleep from the last examination day.
Tuesday, I woke up at 11.45am & went straight to shower as I want get a ride to LRT with Cece. Well, my dad sent his subordinate to fetch Cece & she leaves at 12pm, so I wore what I got as I left my stuff back at Malacca. I planned for job hunt as I seriously need cash to pay my debt with friends & save some for audio & video assignment next semester. I targeted TGV at Wangsa Walk as it just open for a couple of week. So I want to try my luck there. I bumped into my senior from UiTM S.Alam & coincidentally the 2 of them are also applying there & they make a resume for the application form. That makes me eager to get the job more than ever! I went back into MINDEF by walking from the gates to my block took me 15-20 min! I had to take cover at the playground as that evening rain poured heavily.
I made my resume last night & print it out at Wangsa Setia. Before that, I went to school to ask a copy of my SPM slip as I kept in a box that still in the store!! Hell NO im going to search for it in the store..I dont even remember which box contains my slip SPM!?! After submitted the form, I went searching for other jobs in Wangsa Walk as Im not really sure that I can get a job there. On my way back to LRT Wangsa Maju, I met up with my juniors in the bus. They offered me to work at McD at JJ as I told them im searching for job. I didnt hesitate or think twice, I just filled in the form & get back home as I afraid it will rain again & it did!Pidot, my "good"(he is very religious & kind) ex-class monitor come to KL from Penang to meet up with us. So I texted all my Zuhalianz(form 4 & 5 ex-classmates)to meet up at Wangsa Walk Mall & do something.
I had to sent comforter & dirty clothes to laundry store before 2pm. There was Pidot, Hanif, Sabri, Cwan, Musab, Sarah, Hanisah, Fakhrul & Saffuan joined to play bowling. I played well at the 1st game but turned worse at 2nd game as my fingers was already "worn out".huhu. After that, we had some drink at NZ and with some of the people left such as Pidot, Sarah, Hanif, Sabri, Fakhrul & Cwan, we had karaoke at Wangsa Walk. We had fun although we split up before magrib. My uncle & cousin, Isaac from Sarawak came as my cousin got into a private college at Cheras. Congrats for him. I got a text message from Mera that night & she said that Zul house got robbed & my mind was getting this horrible images of 'bad things' that happen to them but luckily they were OK, nothing happened as Zul's house was trashed. Thank God, they were fine. I was afraid bad things happen to my precious friends! They are my second family in my life!
Friday, was so boring!! Supposely, Zul, Rauf & me go to Malacca to take my stuff but since things happened yesterday, better cool down first. I drove Cece to LRT station in the morning, sent lil bro to his friend's house in the afternoon and I lay on my bed the whole day after solat Jumaat. With nothing to do, I slept, online & watched anime. Uncle & Isaac went to KL.
The next day, it was boring too! I just waiting for dinner with my friends & my girl at Rahsia but it was canceled. I was clueless and doing the same thing like yesterday. -.-" What a life?!huhu?!
I did said goodbye to friends before heading back to college. I walked back with Sob that evening so we could feel the last time of walking at 'tasik' as next semester we will live outside far away from UiTM(exaggerate much?!?). Well, the rent house is just 15 min away from UiTM. I'll be living with Taki, Sob, Yan, Jimy, Sufi & new & unexpected housemate..Raz!huhu. We got ourselves a corner-lot house, fully furnished & air conditioner in master bedroom for only rm600..so around rm80 per pax.
I packed all my stuff as quickly as my aunt & uncle from Masjid Tanah picked me up & leave my stuff there. But luck wasnt on my side as we arrived, the bus was on the move. So I stay over at aunt's house that night. Since it was Sunday, there was 'pasar malam' & I favor a dish called 'lompat tikam'. So I went around the 'pasar' but it was sold out! Could my day get any worse?!
The next day,my bus leave at 10am..I had 'roti canai' before going back to KL or to be precise, Bukit Jalil. I didnt have my headphone with me to listen to any music along the way as I left it in Taki's car but he did leave to Sob. Arrived there safely & wasnt crowded to get in the Star LRT train. I had to wait for my dad at the LRT station to get into MINDEF..if I walk, i'll be soaking wet with my sweat! My lil bro was happy when I arrived home..that means he has something to offer or favor!? Well, I felt asleep as I didnt get enough sleep from the last examination day.
Tuesday, I woke up at 11.45am & went straight to shower as I want get a ride to LRT with Cece. Well, my dad sent his subordinate to fetch Cece & she leaves at 12pm, so I wore what I got as I left my stuff back at Malacca. I planned for job hunt as I seriously need cash to pay my debt with friends & save some for audio & video assignment next semester. I targeted TGV at Wangsa Walk as it just open for a couple of week. So I want to try my luck there. I bumped into my senior from UiTM S.Alam & coincidentally the 2 of them are also applying there & they make a resume for the application form. That makes me eager to get the job more than ever! I went back into MINDEF by walking from the gates to my block took me 15-20 min! I had to take cover at the playground as that evening rain poured heavily.
I made my resume last night & print it out at Wangsa Setia. Before that, I went to school to ask a copy of my SPM slip as I kept in a box that still in the store!! Hell NO im going to search for it in the store..I dont even remember which box contains my slip SPM!?! After submitted the form, I went searching for other jobs in Wangsa Walk as Im not really sure that I can get a job there. On my way back to LRT Wangsa Maju, I met up with my juniors in the bus. They offered me to work at McD at JJ as I told them im searching for job. I didnt hesitate or think twice, I just filled in the form & get back home as I afraid it will rain again & it did!Pidot, my "good"(he is very religious & kind) ex-class monitor come to KL from Penang to meet up with us. So I texted all my Zuhalianz(form 4 & 5 ex-classmates)to meet up at Wangsa Walk Mall & do something.
I had to sent comforter & dirty clothes to laundry store before 2pm. There was Pidot, Hanif, Sabri, Cwan, Musab, Sarah, Hanisah, Fakhrul & Saffuan joined to play bowling. I played well at the 1st game but turned worse at 2nd game as my fingers was already "worn out".huhu. After that, we had some drink at NZ and with some of the people left such as Pidot, Sarah, Hanif, Sabri, Fakhrul & Cwan, we had karaoke at Wangsa Walk. We had fun although we split up before magrib. My uncle & cousin, Isaac from Sarawak came as my cousin got into a private college at Cheras. Congrats for him. I got a text message from Mera that night & she said that Zul house got robbed & my mind was getting this horrible images of 'bad things' that happen to them but luckily they were OK, nothing happened as Zul's house was trashed. Thank God, they were fine. I was afraid bad things happen to my precious friends! They are my second family in my life!
Friday, was so boring!! Supposely, Zul, Rauf & me go to Malacca to take my stuff but since things happened yesterday, better cool down first. I drove Cece to LRT station in the morning, sent lil bro to his friend's house in the afternoon and I lay on my bed the whole day after solat Jumaat. With nothing to do, I slept, online & watched anime. Uncle & Isaac went to KL.
The next day, it was boring too! I just waiting for dinner with my friends & my girl at Rahsia but it was canceled. I was clueless and doing the same thing like yesterday. -.-" What a life?!huhu?!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
updates summary of 23rd jan-11th apr!
damn! its been too long that i hvnt update anytin that i did! since frm my bday till now..packed up!well, busy too much! A lot of events involved, assignments gotta fin up, relationship problems, missed my friends, less sleepin-more typin+thinkin!spent money on assgnmts than eatin!
all of that taught me that..next sem will be tougher, event will be bigger, assignments & lects will be crazier! plus gotta stay outside next sem! gotta prepare money fr next sem AV assgnments!!
the good thing, lects notice me capable of being a stage manager & sobree's personal assistant.huhu. my paperwork are getting better & i think i can handle assgnments well & on the pre-stage of degree format but not sure with my English though..i need to read english book!
plus, people i worked with is always keep on changing..gotta be flexible then..cant complained. drama?naah! never been one! so, dont bring probs to ohers!
in the beginning of this sem, i cried as a lot of things change & i thought that i can handle it but no! I need support & friends! i got over it through time & thinking.
got close with others just to sooth my loneliness but it shouldnt be that way, so i open a lil bit of my heart & be friends. it wasnt hard, but cautious is important to my feelin.
btw,my relationship was at stake & it was a test fr myself!i try my best to make it happen..who said LDR gonna be easy?luckily im in Lendu, not at some othr foreign country. but we are fine now. hee.hmm,before 1 event,Im glad to meet my best friend that i miss so much! although it wasnt long & we didnt hv time to catch up but at least im happy too!
assignmts are done but exam are near..so i gotta work hard fr DL this sem..dont want the same result!! need DL!!!huhu
cant write much but just wait fr sem break..huhu.xp
all of that taught me that..next sem will be tougher, event will be bigger, assignments & lects will be crazier! plus gotta stay outside next sem! gotta prepare money fr next sem AV assgnments!!
the good thing, lects notice me capable of being a stage manager & sobree's personal assistant.huhu. my paperwork are getting better & i think i can handle assgnments well & on the pre-stage of degree format but not sure with my English though..i need to read english book!
plus, people i worked with is always keep on changing..gotta be flexible then..cant complained. drama?naah! never been one! so, dont bring probs to ohers!
in the beginning of this sem, i cried as a lot of things change & i thought that i can handle it but no! I need support & friends! i got over it through time & thinking.
got close with others just to sooth my loneliness but it shouldnt be that way, so i open a lil bit of my heart & be friends. it wasnt hard, but cautious is important to my feelin.
btw,my relationship was at stake & it was a test fr myself!i try my best to make it happen..who said LDR gonna be easy?luckily im in Lendu, not at some othr foreign country. but we are fine now. hee.hmm,before 1 event,Im glad to meet my best friend that i miss so much! although it wasnt long & we didnt hv time to catch up but at least im happy too!
assignmts are done but exam are near..so i gotta work hard fr DL this sem..dont want the same result!! need DL!!!huhu
cant write much but just wait fr sem break..huhu.xp
Saturday, January 23, 2010
A week full of tired+ dehydration!
Wao! not enough sleep & I got class from 8.30am to 5.20pm! I did push myself to wake up early, even Taki & Sob are surprised. Usually I will rush in Taki's car with my unbuttoned shirt but still I soon rememberd that Ms Shida will have quizes in the morning! Sob wasnt in as he was sending Sha to MC but he was caught by miss when she pass by sob early that morning!haha.kantoi! I wasnt feeling well aftr morning class & got scold by mdm Wan for being late. :( Advert class as usual makes me already thinking of bed! I wasnt in the mood for dinner as well. I got fever on monday night & we got modern issues presentation to finish up. My girl arrived at 10pm but she was way too tired & fall asleep. I slept that night at 4am.
My fever cooled down a lil bit but I went accompany Aishah to HEP for our Induction proposal checking. Some error in calculation of budget & error of maintainence.Aishah & I were busy with checking an error. In the evening, arranging the slides & brief the teamates. 7 peoples are too much in a group just for presentation with no report! Meeting with KOMED at night will be solving our probs. It was also Sob 1st time join KOMED's meeting since he is the new Exco Kerohanian. New family!!Yay! Fever & cold were critical but Im still on the move, cant rest fully yet!
Eco class was boring but new repeaters came in the class. Ms Khaizi always checked out our homework! Like school much?! No homework but we have publication class that make us fin the bzns card. I was doing on lounge-night club bzns card. Our lect are so soft spoken until I cant focused on him not more than 5minutes! Some girls says he is like Farid Kamil but soft version. not pondan laa!! Taki, Sob & I didnt went to lunch and waited for teammates to be brief in but we have to do it in class as it took an amount of time to get in their head! The only ones who actually contribute, me, Sob, Taki & Fika! The other 3 have-a-free-ride! It doesnt matter now. At the time groups are presenting, Raz's grandpa past away & he straight went back to Penang. Takziah & Al-Fatihah. Burden was over for that day. The night isnt over. We KOMED have to meet up with pt1 & pt2. Half went on pt1 & half went on pt2. I got pt1, well..I arranged it as I want to see the what freshies got!Obviously, some of they are older than us & being a true masscomers..MENCAPAP! 1 of the pt1 palyed eyes with Aishah..literally where we KOMED can see it! They are so gonna feel the fun & not-so-much-fun of masscomm!huhu
We ran under the rain to eco class & more repeaters joined in. We 3 are blank with the advance studies & totally havent master the basic! Publication was the same. We head out to print & lunch at Under-the-Tree, AG. Didnt joined the others at Kelemak as want to be else where than Kelemak! Heavy downpour that make us waiting to slow down. I got scolded by mak cik kolej that accused me of peeking in Aishah's room but actually I was sending reports to her as she didnt come out. Kecoh tul mak cik kolej! Pasar was the usual as cafe are closed & freshies still havent asked for signature.Well, dont care..I got KOMED photoshoot that night for groupies! Sob borrowed his jr's car & Aishah loves old school car.Old school lovers. I loves the VW van that I always dream of..the back of the van can be my room.hahaha
Nothing with just doing my laundry & watching gundam till the evening. Prof drop by the room as he has plan with Qina. I was more to waiting for going back & overnight with azrul, syafiq, nizar, afiq sam, izzy, hunny, farah & atthiya. We had dinner, watched separate movie & celeb Azrul bday. Hun makes him cupcakes and we went to PD. Walk down the beach & play UNO stacko. Well, my bus was at 8.30 am to KL, to meet with my girl. xD
My fever cooled down a lil bit but I went accompany Aishah to HEP for our Induction proposal checking. Some error in calculation of budget & error of maintainence.Aishah & I were busy with checking an error. In the evening, arranging the slides & brief the teamates. 7 peoples are too much in a group just for presentation with no report! Meeting with KOMED at night will be solving our probs. It was also Sob 1st time join KOMED's meeting since he is the new Exco Kerohanian. New family!!Yay! Fever & cold were critical but Im still on the move, cant rest fully yet!
Eco class was boring but new repeaters came in the class. Ms Khaizi always checked out our homework! Like school much?! No homework but we have publication class that make us fin the bzns card. I was doing on lounge-night club bzns card. Our lect are so soft spoken until I cant focused on him not more than 5minutes! Some girls says he is like Farid Kamil but soft version. not pondan laa!! Taki, Sob & I didnt went to lunch and waited for teammates to be brief in but we have to do it in class as it took an amount of time to get in their head! The only ones who actually contribute, me, Sob, Taki & Fika! The other 3 have-a-free-ride! It doesnt matter now. At the time groups are presenting, Raz's grandpa past away & he straight went back to Penang. Takziah & Al-Fatihah. Burden was over for that day. The night isnt over. We KOMED have to meet up with pt1 & pt2. Half went on pt1 & half went on pt2. I got pt1, well..I arranged it as I want to see the what freshies got!Obviously, some of they are older than us & being a true masscomers..MENCAPAP! 1 of the pt1 palyed eyes with Aishah..literally where we KOMED can see it! They are so gonna feel the fun & not-so-much-fun of masscomm!huhu
We ran under the rain to eco class & more repeaters joined in. We 3 are blank with the advance studies & totally havent master the basic! Publication was the same. We head out to print & lunch at Under-the-Tree, AG. Didnt joined the others at Kelemak as want to be else where than Kelemak! Heavy downpour that make us waiting to slow down. I got scolded by mak cik kolej that accused me of peeking in Aishah's room but actually I was sending reports to her as she didnt come out. Kecoh tul mak cik kolej! Pasar was the usual as cafe are closed & freshies still havent asked for signature.Well, dont care..I got KOMED photoshoot that night for groupies! Sob borrowed his jr's car & Aishah loves old school car.Old school lovers. I loves the VW van that I always dream of..the back of the van can be my room.hahaha
Nothing with just doing my laundry & watching gundam till the evening. Prof drop by the room as he has plan with Qina. I was more to waiting for going back & overnight with azrul, syafiq, nizar, afiq sam, izzy, hunny, farah & atthiya. We had dinner, watched separate movie & celeb Azrul bday. Hun makes him cupcakes and we went to PD. Walk down the beach & play UNO stacko. Well, my bus was at 8.30 am to KL, to meet with my girl. xD
Friday, January 15, 2010
2nd week in UiTM
It is so hard that I have to be so tough at the same time having to be fair with others. Im so sad and disappointed with myself that I can’t get to her.. I mean her heart. Its like theres a barrier that keeping me from reaching her heart. I cant heart to heart with her. I don’t know what going on with her. She keeps saying that she is fine. Well, it hurts a lot that knowing yourself aren’t reliable. It is killing me softly...
With friends, I’m split into two..between T & S and the A’s. I divide time with them but still there’s something wrong.. it doesn’t feel right. I miss my best friend & close friends that have gone to degree. I don’t have anyone to talk to..even my girl doesn’t share with me, well not literally I mean.. still I feel lonely.
I was so boring in the weekend with nothing to do but homework & make myself bz with other things..watching gundam, bof, gg, & movies.Argh! Now i felt totally nothing!I can just wait & wait..till I find what I truly want. I do know what I want but Im afraid I'll get hurt..but it even hurt when I dont do it. I'll regret everytime I never done it in the 1st place. I'll step up my guts but next weekend laa..
With friends, I’m split into two..between T & S and the A’s. I divide time with them but still there’s something wrong.. it doesn’t feel right. I miss my best friend & close friends that have gone to degree. I don’t have anyone to talk to..even my girl doesn’t share with me, well not literally I mean.. still I feel lonely.
I was so boring in the weekend with nothing to do but homework & make myself bz with other things..watching gundam, bof, gg, & movies.Argh! Now i felt totally nothing!I can just wait & wait..till I find what I truly want. I do know what I want but Im afraid I'll get hurt..but it even hurt when I dont do it. I'll regret everytime I never done it in the 1st place. I'll step up my guts but next weekend laa..
From Downfall to Resolution
Accept what you must & change what you can,
think before you act & not regret any moment of carelessness,
appreciate what you have & the wonderful feeling you are,
enjoy the simple pleasure of life in nature & in people,
forgive & learn from mistakes & forget the past,
learn & discover new experiences & table life as an adventure, dream & make plans for your future,
go for what you want!
This is what I need to do & will be in the 2010. Forgive me if I done anything wrong to you all & I'm sorry if I dont care about you anymore afterwards because the pain is too much too bare.
think before you act & not regret any moment of carelessness,
appreciate what you have & the wonderful feeling you are,
enjoy the simple pleasure of life in nature & in people,
forgive & learn from mistakes & forget the past,
learn & discover new experiences & table life as an adventure, dream & make plans for your future,
go for what you want!
This is what I need to do & will be in the 2010. Forgive me if I done anything wrong to you all & I'm sorry if I dont care about you anymore afterwards because the pain is too much too bare.
Crack in 2010
Well new year.. my heart was broke by her. Cant stand being hurt..people that came into my life are slowly gone. I miss them very much. I try to scream but no voice get out..no sound be reach..nobody except me. Where were you all when I need you? You supposed to be my best friend! Only time can revive me. I'll be strong like before but dont expect me to be the same like you know me before.
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