Fun cant be with Sad

I had fun & cries this long 3 weeks.. went to Berjaya Hills for some shooting, youth fest'10 that was like a PC Fair & Relay 4 Life in the mud, played Left 4 Dead(havent play any computer games for awhile!)!! I have a lot to share but I just dont have time to type it out. I want to express my feeling but I couldnt.

This past 3 weeks, there was also it bad moment. My relationships are up & down..Im totally not being myself..im such a lame, stupid & unreliable when she needs me. She wasnt happy with me & it make me realize that I had bring sadness to her life.

Maybe I wasnt fulfilling the expectation or the "used to be" like before. Things change, I change. I dont call at night for hours like always. I dont know where it went wrong but I do know the problems start with me.

I think I have been selfish & didnt give the proper care that she need. All I want is her to be happy. I dont care if she hurt my feeling, I willing to trade my feeling to make her feelings fine. Love hurts but you have to endure it as much as you can because love is not something that can be tied to a relationship, its something that lives in our heart.