Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Tolong cover OK!

Pagi tadi ku wat tampal gigi ku yg berlubang dkt clinic & dentist ngn adik ku. Ble turn ku da setel tampal gigi, adik ku belom dipanggil lg. So ku lepak duk luar klinik, duk dlm sejuk & mgantok! Tetibe de sorg mak cik menangis & meraung dpn klinik! Ku ingt someting happen, rupa2nya makcik tue mengamok ngn ank pompuan dier coz kantoi ank dier merokok dkt sblh klinik.

Kesian ku tgk makcik tue. Menghancurkan perasaan & kepercayaan mak dier. Bengang gak ku tgk pompuan tue tp ku taw dier msti rasa bersalah. Think logically laa, ko kluar ngn mak ko, sempat lagi nk hisap se-pam dua?! Nasib baik ada nurse tolong tenangkan makcik tue & bawak duk kt bangku dpn klinik. De pakcik guard lak tegur dak pompuan tue elok2. "Hang nie dak baik, pakcik taw tp hang ni buat benda xpikir pjg. Xpikir psl org lain ngn sekeliling hang! Kalo bukan pakcik mai kt hang, pasti ada org lain yg tegor hang. Hang da la pkai tudong, jaga ckit perlakuan hang! kita Melayu, kita orang Islam taw dok?!".

Dalam hati ku, "Melayu? Islam?? Does it mean something to us Malay Muslim? I mean, kte sering dengar, merokok haram, merokok memudaratkan kesihatan;berdosa, & macam2 lg. Well, its up to the individuals." Then ku pn pkir lagi, "IF I was a smoker & one day kantoi with parents..I can predict how my life will be. My dad dont trust me, my mom disappointed with me, what else? Thats bad enough fr me! Makcik tue duk dpn ku je & later dier siap call kawan2 budak perempuan tue, tanya spe influence ank dier! Dak pompuan tue da hilang ntah ke mne. Kawan2 dak pompuan tue pn xtaw & terkejot yg dier hisap rokok. Maybe some of them taw, tp wat2 terkejot dlm phone. But for those yg xtaw, surprise!!

Well, she deserve it! How long do you think you can lie to your mom or others. Smoking in the public dgn pkai tudung lak tue. Cover la ckit! Memang takde rasa malu ke hisap rokok in public & pkai tudung?? Lepas ni dgr berita "Wanita Bertudung Hisap Rokok mencemarkan agama Islam"?? Mesti panas kan? Then rasa xpuas hati. Tapi betol kan? I bet, one day if this kind of tudung girls smoking in the public, ntah laki mne dtg kt ko & lempang ko then lecture ko! Baru time tue nk sedar kot.

Tak kisah la kalo korang nk hisap rokok pn, bukan ku halang pn. Sape je ku? Just sbg peringatan, yg pkai tudung, COVER CEMERLANG la merokok!Pandai2 hidup la. But, do believe in Karma!

Monday, December 27, 2010

In the End.

Whats the differences between friends & ex that turn to friend?
When You texting to;
Friends: Reply ASAP or treat like usual.
Ex: Reply later, he will understand or text short n' unusual treat(a lil bit mean).
I have been texting with You for awhile. I can see the difference. I'm not blind!

When You planning something with;
Friends: A lot of ideas & excited with it.The plan comes true.
Ex: You act like You are into it but when that day come, no mood & unexcited with it.
I know its too good to be true.

When You say this & that;
Friends: You'll definitely keep your promise.
Ex: the promise that You gave wasn't matter anymore, You dont owe him anything.
Yeah, I dont blame You but stop give empty promises, You said "Dont make promises if you cannot keep it".
I think that advice was for You.

"We will work things out."
You know what you're doing to me yet You play all the way.
YOU were right!
I am naive.

I'm now done.
I'll shut myself from You.
It's for the best.
Rather than letting You giving hopes or promises that sound real but its NOT & it hurts.
You're friendship was rather sympathy than welcoming.


You...
Don't lie to your loved ones,
they will just get hurt.
You might regret & will be fine of loosing one of them,
but what ever that You had in life, treasure it.

Deny all You want, but I can see it clearly.
Even if You say "Dont act like you know me".
You have never been straight forward with me.
You should!
But You leave things unsettle.
And yet we are over.

All your deep thinking, all your regrets.
You were thinking of yourself,
Chasing dreams.
You just want to make yourself better than before.
You should clear it up with me rather than keeping to yourself.
Even we were together back then, You still keep it.

I realize that I wasn't important enough till You even broke this heart.
You want me to move on?
It's easy for You, as You did it.
But I'll soon learn from it.
Step by step. Day by day.
I'll heal myself, but this wound will last forever.

We will meet another time,
soon or after,
as a friend or never.
I'm very thankful with everything that I had
And accept whatever that fall on me.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Open my eyes..hurts.

One more week until semester break over. Sigh. It's going to be over soon. I wish I could stay in bed or have a getaway some where not in Msia..but i cant!hey, I can dream it while i am asleep right?! I did have fun with my friends with playing at the waterfall, get together at mamak sometimes, played pool & snook, got punctured tyre at BB, holiday at Kuching, Sarawak. More to come actually, I just follow my friends plans to fill my days.

Well, not everyday are fun.. I had my bad days.. I'm just tired of getting myself hurt. I prefer to be alone sometimes, although I have developed 'hatred' towards her but I know I shouldn't have that feeling, it's not her fault. I keep telling myself not to blame others of my own mistakes. Negative aura surrounds me everyday, so I try to be optimistic around family, friends & people.

When i'm alone, I look at our picture in the frame that you gave. When i'm outside, everytime i took out my wallet.. i accidentally look at our picture. I hated that we couldnt see each other. I would get jealous & pissed at you that you would always have plans with your friends. But you're the one who leave me. This wound will remain forever. Yes, I should "Move on"! "Dont be naive"! "Love Yourself"! "Jangan manja2" what else? You might be happier, god knows.

My greatest fear is losing you and it happened.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

It's Not Over (in Denial)

By Secondhand Serenade.

My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you ' or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over

I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over