Principles

Since the first week of my semester break till now, the 7th week..I manage to restrain myself from contacting her. Its tough, very very tough. Everyday was pain but i'll endure & wait for the right time. I really need to do this, after her friend told me to stay away from her & showed me that she felt annoyed & she prefer to ignore me. Well, its clear that she is protected by loved ones. I thought if I could bbm you as usual, i could share a bit of my expressions & feelings. But it seem you is shutting me out totally. You said you want me to be your friend, I tried but its you who cant. You even use the word 'ex' with your friends when it refers to me. It hurts, but i deserve it.

I still dream of her, miss her, care for her but everyday is a challenge. Theres a time when i got her miss call after work during week 6, I call her directly in case she have something important, but she said wrong dialed number. Hearing her voice for 10second was better than nothing. I was happy, although it was for a very short time..it was joy that I havent felt for quite some time. A part of me was lost, i was trying to live a half life after our break up. I did let her go & move on, but a part of her will remain in my heart. Call me a fool, but since i have stick to my principles with not get in touch with her for her sake & her friend notice, now one of my principles is she will be first & last. This is a punishment for me..love is a punishment from heaven, with that I'll endure & wait. Dont care what others will say & think. If I cant keep my principles & promises, then I'm no good & havent change for better. I have to change, if not, i'll live in regret.