In the End.

Whats the differences between friends & ex that turn to friend?
When You texting to;
Friends: Reply ASAP or treat like usual.
Ex: Reply later, he will understand or text short n' unusual treat(a lil bit mean).
I have been texting with You for awhile. I can see the difference. I'm not blind!

When You planning something with;
Friends: A lot of ideas & excited with it.The plan comes true.
Ex: You act like You are into it but when that day come, no mood & unexcited with it.
I know its too good to be true.

When You say this & that;
Friends: You'll definitely keep your promise.
Ex: the promise that You gave wasn't matter anymore, You dont owe him anything.
Yeah, I dont blame You but stop give empty promises, You said "Dont make promises if you cannot keep it".
I think that advice was for You.

"We will work things out."
You know what you're doing to me yet You play all the way.
YOU were right!
I am naive.

I'm now done.
I'll shut myself from You.
It's for the best.
Rather than letting You giving hopes or promises that sound real but its NOT & it hurts.
You're friendship was rather sympathy than welcoming.


You...
Don't lie to your loved ones,
they will just get hurt.
You might regret & will be fine of loosing one of them,
but what ever that You had in life, treasure it.

Deny all You want, but I can see it clearly.
Even if You say "Dont act like you know me".
You have never been straight forward with me.
You should!
But You leave things unsettle.
And yet we are over.

All your deep thinking, all your regrets.
You were thinking of yourself,
Chasing dreams.
You just want to make yourself better than before.
You should clear it up with me rather than keeping to yourself.
Even we were together back then, You still keep it.

I realize that I wasn't important enough till You even broke this heart.
You want me to move on?
It's easy for You, as You did it.
But I'll soon learn from it.
Step by step. Day by day.
I'll heal myself, but this wound will last forever.

We will meet another time,
soon or after,
as a friend or never.
I'm very thankful with everything that I had
And accept whatever that fall on me.

Open my eyes..hurts.

One more week until semester break over. Sigh. It's going to be over soon. I wish I could stay in bed or have a getaway some where not in Msia..but i cant!hey, I can dream it while i am asleep right?! I did have fun with my friends with playing at the waterfall, get together at mamak sometimes, played pool & snook, got punctured tyre at BB, holiday at Kuching, Sarawak. More to come actually, I just follow my friends plans to fill my days.

Well, not everyday are fun.. I had my bad days.. I'm just tired of getting myself hurt. I prefer to be alone sometimes, although I have developed 'hatred' towards her but I know I shouldn't have that feeling, it's not her fault. I keep telling myself not to blame others of my own mistakes. Negative aura surrounds me everyday, so I try to be optimistic around family, friends & people.

When i'm alone, I look at our picture in the frame that you gave. When i'm outside, everytime i took out my wallet.. i accidentally look at our picture. I hated that we couldnt see each other. I would get jealous & pissed at you that you would always have plans with your friends. But you're the one who leave me. This wound will remain forever. Yes, I should "Move on"! "Dont be naive"! "Love Yourself"! "Jangan manja2" what else? You might be happier, god knows.

My greatest fear is losing you and it happened.

It's Not Over (in Denial)

By Secondhand Serenade.

My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you ' or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over

I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over

Let You Go.

Just heard “If I Let You Go” by Westlife.

Time pass away,
And I can’t get you off my mind...
But if I let her go..
She will never know how much she means to me..
Will I ever see she smiles back to me?
Maybe..
But, I have let to her go..
Because I love her so much!!
I can’t let her be with me,
Because I don’t deserve to have her love.

We will work things out,
That was the old feeling saying,
As much as I missed you,
I know you don’t feel the same anymore,
No more ‘Comot’,
And no more ‘Comel’,

I have to learn to accept it..
The hard way!
I’ll leave her alone.
Hurt & pain as much as it feels,
It will remain as a deep scar,
I’ll rather live with it,

“If you hate someone so much,
God will give love to you for that person.
If you love someone too much,
God will bring hatred to you for that person.”

Teenage Dream

I think you’re pretty
Without any make-up on
I think you’re funny
When you tell the punch line wrong
I knew you get me
When you let your walls come down, down

Before you met me
I was a wreck
But things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's just talk all through the night
There’s no need to rush
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

When you around me
Life like a movie scene
I wasn’t happy
Until you became my Queen
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete
Let's just talk all through the night
There’s no need to rush
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

I will get your heart racing
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight

Let you rest your head on me
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight..tonight

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back
I will get your heart racing
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight

Let you rest your head on me
If that what you need
In this teenage dream tonight..Tonight

To get over her or simply move on?

It has been more than a month now..
Not much thing to say..
All that I want is just...
Every time I wake up, she will always be beside me..
I want to see her everyday in my life..
She is the greatest thing ever happen in my life..

It was joyful till it last,
Happiness of love,
Cant never be the same..
Because, what she did was painful & I can't bear to fight it.
I forgive her & do not hate her..
Dislike her is growing inside me..
As anger & loneliness stay inside here.

She and I loved each other..
And then she broke my heart..
I’m doing everything possible not to face that fact..
But...
There is no use to deny the past..
She is a part of me..
She will always be..
It just hurt so much.

everything happen for a reason

a lot of things happen..
been too busy with study..
till it almost ruin the tie..
try to recover the love..
step by step..
or slow to bring the feeling back..
just go along..
cant wait for midbreak..
plan to meet & express..
sharing is not our best roles..
but we still holding on..
when the bad air got to us..
we become dull..

something went wrong tonight..
we did try to figure it out..
but we are just fooling ourselves..
its going no where..
decision have to be make..
no more tie between us..
crying is one thing..
walk away is tough..
suffocate..
can't breath properly..
can't imagine without you..
this need to stop..
decision...
you didn't hurt me..
i love you too much..
only faith & destiny can bring us back..
it all ends at 1.10am, 3 SEP 2010.